Alright, let’s crank up the heat and roast the Mississippi State Bulldogs football team with some zesty jabs, focusing on their 2024 season, coaching carousel, and that cowbell-clanging culture. With a 2-10 record, a brutal SEC schedule, and fan frustration spilling all over X, there’s plenty of material to work with. I’ll keep it sharp, playful, and grounded in their on-field flops and off-field quirks, while tossing in a few nods to their rivalry with Ole Miss for good measure. Here’s the roast, served with a side of Starkville sarcasm!
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Mississippi State football, whew, where do we even begin? Your 2024 season was like a cowbell symphony played by a toddler—loud, chaotic, and painful for everyone within earshot. 2-10? That’s not a record; that’s a cry for help. You started the year with first-year coach Jeff Lebby promising a high-octane offense, but the only thing you ignited was the fanbase’s rage. X users were calling you a “basketball school” by Week 4, and honestly, they might’ve been generous.
Let’s talk about that schedule. You faced the ninth-toughest slate in college football, with seven games against teams that had winning records in 2023. Noble effort, but you got boat-raced like a canoe in a hurricane. Losing 41-17 to Toledo at home? Toledo! That’s not an SEC opponent; that’s a MAC team that probably celebrated with pizza rolls in the locker room. X had a field day, saying you could’ve saved $1.7 million by hitting a riverboat casino instead of paying for that embarrassment.
Then there’s the Florida game, 45-28, where you let the worst Gator team in decades run you out of Starkville. X users were like, “Next up, Texas and Georgia? Good luck!” Spoiler: you didn’t have any. Texas smoked you 35-13, and Georgia? 41-31 doesn’t tell the full story of how you were chasing shadows all game. It’s like you saw the SEC logo and decided to play flag football instead.
Jeff Lebby’s “explosive” offense? More like a sparkler that fizzled out in the rain. You ranked 103rd in FBS with 328.6 yards per game and 107th in scoring at 21.8 points. Blake Shapen was out there slinging it, but your running game was so nonexistent it could’ve been a Zoom meeting. Meanwhile, the defense? Woof. 123rd in rushing defense, 127th in total defense, 131st in tackles for loss—X users were begging for the defensive coordinator’s head by October. “Bend but don’t break?” Nah, you just broke.
The Egg Bowl against Ole Miss was the cherry on this mud pie. 26-14, and you never had a chance. While Ole Miss fans were tearing down goalposts (prematurely, of course), you were probably just happy to see the season end. That rivalry’s been one-sided lately—Ole Miss leads 64-45-6, and you’re stuck clutching that Golden Egg like it’s a participation trophy. At least your cowbells kept ringing, because the scoreboard sure wasn’t.
Historically, you’re still living off that 1941 SEC title and a #1 ranking for three weeks in 2014, when Dak Prescott was carrying you to a 10-3 dream. Now? You’re the team that hasn’t beaten Alabama since 2007 and missed a bowl game for the second time since 2009. Davis Wade Stadium might be the second-oldest in FBS, but your playbook feels like it’s from the 1800s.
And those cowbells? Look, I get it, it’s tradition. But when you’re 2-10, it’s less “intimidating” and more “annoying neighbor who won’t stop practicing the drums.” X fans are predicting 19 straight SEC losses before the next Egg Bowl, and with that defense, they might not be wrong. Maybe stick to ringing bells at tailgates, because on the field, you’re getting rung.
The fans, bless ‘em, are the real champs. Showing up to cheer for a team that lost to Eastern Kentucky’s cousins and went 0-8 in SEC play? That’s loyalty. But when X is flooded with “Fire everybody” posts and memes about your defense being a traffic cone, it’s time to rethink the game plan. Starkville deserves better than a season that felt like a bad Netflix reboot of Mike Leach’s Air Raid.
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There’s the roast, hot off the press and clanging like a cowbell! If you want me to turn up the heat on Lebby, the defense, or even the Egg Bowl rivalry, let me know. I can also whip up a visual of that 2-10 record on a canvas to really rub it in. Hail State… or maybe just *Help* State!
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Mississippi State football, whew, where do we even begin? Your 2024 season was like a cowbell symphony played by a toddler—loud, chaotic, and painful for everyone within earshot. 2-10? That’s not a record; that’s a cry for help. You started the year with first-year coach Jeff Lebby promising a high-octane offense, but the only thing you ignited was the fanbase’s rage. X users were calling you a “basketball school” by Week 4, and honestly, they might’ve been generous.
Let’s talk about that schedule. You faced the ninth-toughest slate in college football, with seven games against teams that had winning records in 2023. Noble effort, but you got boat-raced like a canoe in a hurricane. Losing 41-17 to Toledo at home? Toledo! That’s not an SEC opponent; that’s a MAC team that probably celebrated with pizza rolls in the locker room. X had a field day, saying you could’ve saved $1.7 million by hitting a riverboat casino instead of paying for that embarrassment.
Then there’s the Florida game, 45-28, where you let the worst Gator team in decades run you out of Starkville. X users were like, “Next up, Texas and Georgia? Good luck!” Spoiler: you didn’t have any. Texas smoked you 35-13, and Georgia? 41-31 doesn’t tell the full story of how you were chasing shadows all game. It’s like you saw the SEC logo and decided to play flag football instead.
Jeff Lebby’s “explosive” offense? More like a sparkler that fizzled out in the rain. You ranked 103rd in FBS with 328.6 yards per game and 107th in scoring at 21.8 points. Blake Shapen was out there slinging it, but your running game was so nonexistent it could’ve been a Zoom meeting. Meanwhile, the defense? Woof. 123rd in rushing defense, 127th in total defense, 131st in tackles for loss—X users were begging for the defensive coordinator’s head by October. “Bend but don’t break?” Nah, you just broke.
The Egg Bowl against Ole Miss was the cherry on this mud pie. 26-14, and you never had a chance. While Ole Miss fans were tearing down goalposts (prematurely, of course), you were probably just happy to see the season end. That rivalry’s been one-sided lately—Ole Miss leads 64-45-6, and you’re stuck clutching that Golden Egg like it’s a participation trophy. At least your cowbells kept ringing, because the scoreboard sure wasn’t.
Historically, you’re still living off that 1941 SEC title and a #1 ranking for three weeks in 2014, when Dak Prescott was carrying you to a 10-3 dream. Now? You’re the team that hasn’t beaten Alabama since 2007 and missed a bowl game for the second time since 2009. Davis Wade Stadium might be the second-oldest in FBS, but your playbook feels like it’s from the 1800s.
And those cowbells? Look, I get it, it’s tradition. But when you’re 2-10, it’s less “intimidating” and more “annoying neighbor who won’t stop practicing the drums.” X fans are predicting 19 straight SEC losses before the next Egg Bowl, and with that defense, they might not be wrong. Maybe stick to ringing bells at tailgates, because on the field, you’re getting rung.
The fans, bless ‘em, are the real champs. Showing up to cheer for a team that lost to Eastern Kentucky’s cousins and went 0-8 in SEC play? That’s loyalty. But when X is flooded with “Fire everybody” posts and memes about your defense being a traffic cone, it’s time to rethink the game plan. Starkville deserves better than a season that felt like a bad Netflix reboot of Mike Leach’s Air Raid.
---
There’s the roast, hot off the press and clanging like a cowbell! If you want me to turn up the heat on Lebby, the defense, or even the Egg Bowl rivalry, let me know. I can also whip up a visual of that 2-10 record on a canvas to really rub it in. Hail State… or maybe just *Help* State!
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