I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that
I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I
said "You're pulling my leg."
I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least
I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.
My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's
not exactly my girlfriend yet.
Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to
be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my butt! Do
you think I should change dentists?
A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me
around and talking behind my back. He says what do you
expect? You're in a wheel chair.
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you
get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature.
She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said,
"You're obviously not listening."
The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare
for the worst. So, I had to go to the thrift shop to get all
of her clothes back.
At the Senior Citizens Center they had a contest the other
day. I lost by one point: The question was: Where do women
mostly have curly hair? Apparently the correct answer was
Africa !!!
There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in our
shopping center, but I've been banned from it after
asking to look at some of the new bomber jackets.
A buddy of mine has just told me he's getting it on with
his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell
them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a
mustache."
Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche and mentioned
it on Facebook. I said, "I can't wait for the new
911 to arrive!" Next thing I know 4,000 Muslims have
added me as a friend!!
Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent
trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I
hope the porn channel in my room is disabled." To which
she replied, "No, it's regular people-porn, you
sick bastard.
The Red Cross have just knocked at our door and asked if we
could help towards the floods in Pakistan . I said we would
love to, but our garden hose only reaches the
driveway.
I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I
said "You're pulling my leg."
I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least
I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.
My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's
not exactly my girlfriend yet.
Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to
be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my butt! Do
you think I should change dentists?
A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me
around and talking behind my back. He says what do you
expect? You're in a wheel chair.
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you
get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature.
She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said,
"You're obviously not listening."
The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare
for the worst. So, I had to go to the thrift shop to get all
of her clothes back.
At the Senior Citizens Center they had a contest the other
day. I lost by one point: The question was: Where do women
mostly have curly hair? Apparently the correct answer was
Africa !!!
There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in our
shopping center, but I've been banned from it after
asking to look at some of the new bomber jackets.
A buddy of mine has just told me he's getting it on with
his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell
them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a
mustache."
Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche and mentioned
it on Facebook. I said, "I can't wait for the new
911 to arrive!" Next thing I know 4,000 Muslims have
added me as a friend!!
Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent
trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I
hope the porn channel in my room is disabled." To which
she replied, "No, it's regular people-porn, you
sick bastard.
The Red Cross have just knocked at our door and asked if we
could help towards the floods in Pakistan . I said we would
love to, but our garden hose only reaches the
driveway.
