So another year another new batch of coaches so we must answer the age old American question of who is the best and worst fighter? So I will now delve into the question and rank them from who’s ass most could kick to who only the toughest could.
14. Eli Drinkwitz: the man is built like the dad from Back to the Future but he’s not near as funny and has a face 10x as punchable. He looks like he’s been stuffed into lockers since he was born anyone could kick his ass.
13. Mike Leach: He’s a tubby old man who talks about Bigfoot more than football. You’d just have to be able to slightly outrun him and hit slightly harder than a seagull to kick his ass.
12. Sam Pittman: He’s a lot like Mike in terms of physical attributes older and tubby but he seems like the type who would stand up for himself so he gets the edge in the spirit department.
11. Shane Beamer: He definitely could kick your ass but he doesn’t want to he’d rather talk it out and just not fight at all. Which is why he’s near the bottom for sheer lack of anger.
10. Nick Saban: the opposite of Shane he’d definitely love to kick your ass but his aging physique and poor hips wouldn’t allow him to put up much of a fight. He does have the intimidation factor going for him though.
9. Dan Mullen: He doesn’t wanna fight he’d rather call the cops, drInk his champagne, and jerk off to pictures of Dak.
8: Clark Lea: His soul will be drained by being the Vandy coach in time for any fights. He could beat everyone below him and maybe a few above.
7-5 are interchangeable really
7. Mark Stoops: He’s a pissed off old man who has some fight left in him probably can kick you in the balls easy.
6. Jimbo Fisher: old and angry but still in good enough health to win a scrap aid watch out if you were both drunk in an alley in College Station.
5. Josh Hyepul: Perhaps his arm strength is still in there behind the beer gut would you dare find out behind a chili’s 11pm and wasted.
4-2 are the same pretty much aswell
4. Lane Kiffin: I dare the the to incur the rath of Joey Freshwater. For even if you win on the battlefield the pr nightmare from Twitter will reign upon you like the wrath of 100000000 suns. He will lose another 30lbs and win next time surely
3. Kirby Smart: He’s young and out to prove himself. Give him some Natty Lite and he can win
2. Bryan Harsin: young aswell in good shape and seems like the quiet kid in class who can break some noses.
1: Ed Orgeron: as of late I’m sure he’s deep into some Columbian Nose Powder so he’s pretty much impervious to firearms. That topped with his rage sober means he will go ape mode and pummel you like a gorilla does a small child. You’re gonna need the guy who shot Harambe if you don’t may God bless your soul.
14. Eli Drinkwitz: the man is built like the dad from Back to the Future but he’s not near as funny and has a face 10x as punchable. He looks like he’s been stuffed into lockers since he was born anyone could kick his ass.
13. Mike Leach: He’s a tubby old man who talks about Bigfoot more than football. You’d just have to be able to slightly outrun him and hit slightly harder than a seagull to kick his ass.
12. Sam Pittman: He’s a lot like Mike in terms of physical attributes older and tubby but he seems like the type who would stand up for himself so he gets the edge in the spirit department.
11. Shane Beamer: He definitely could kick your ass but he doesn’t want to he’d rather talk it out and just not fight at all. Which is why he’s near the bottom for sheer lack of anger.
10. Nick Saban: the opposite of Shane he’d definitely love to kick your ass but his aging physique and poor hips wouldn’t allow him to put up much of a fight. He does have the intimidation factor going for him though.
9. Dan Mullen: He doesn’t wanna fight he’d rather call the cops, drInk his champagne, and jerk off to pictures of Dak.
8: Clark Lea: His soul will be drained by being the Vandy coach in time for any fights. He could beat everyone below him and maybe a few above.
7-5 are interchangeable really
7. Mark Stoops: He’s a pissed off old man who has some fight left in him probably can kick you in the balls easy.
6. Jimbo Fisher: old and angry but still in good enough health to win a scrap aid watch out if you were both drunk in an alley in College Station.
5. Josh Hyepul: Perhaps his arm strength is still in there behind the beer gut would you dare find out behind a chili’s 11pm and wasted.
4-2 are the same pretty much aswell
4. Lane Kiffin: I dare the the to incur the rath of Joey Freshwater. For even if you win on the battlefield the pr nightmare from Twitter will reign upon you like the wrath of 100000000 suns. He will lose another 30lbs and win next time surely
3. Kirby Smart: He’s young and out to prove himself. Give him some Natty Lite and he can win
2. Bryan Harsin: young aswell in good shape and seems like the quiet kid in class who can break some noses.
1: Ed Orgeron: as of late I’m sure he’s deep into some Columbian Nose Powder so he’s pretty much impervious to firearms. That topped with his rage sober means he will go ape mode and pummel you like a gorilla does a small child. You’re gonna need the guy who shot Harambe if you don’t may God bless your soul.
