Last week: 5-5 imo
Season: 12-9 (57%) condescendingly looks at Jeffrey, Chase, and Neil since I’m over .500
Editers note: Fishoil is a elite SEC and Ole Miss football fan who spends more time watching film than snapchat stories, and makes money for a majority of the board as the resident gambling expert. These are better than Neil’s picks, which makes sense because he watches the Cubs and NBA games and always picks Ole Miss, while I never plan on getting married because a family would interfere with watching football. Laremy Tunsil has seen some things. So have I.
I primarily picked favorites last week and it didn’t go as well. Week 3 will be me taking points when given.
Nevada @ TexasA&M(-33.5)
Texas A&M does not have cute uniforms or a cute defensive coordinator. But, turns out being cute isn’t important if you can turn 10 young men and cyborg Myles Garrett into a coherent defensive unit, and wait for Kyle Allen to throw to his 5* receivers. A&M has looked good this season, and all 350,000 people watching at the new Kyle Field will enjoy a large victory. Nevada shouldn’t give A&M much trouble in the post Chris Ault era.
Since I mentioned John Chavis, doesn’t it look like he’s looking at @jenlauren wearing a swimsuit?
Pick: Texas A&M to cover, like perverts covered teh JenLaura thread.
UCONN @ Missouri(-21.5)
Missouri has looked good on defense and like a flaming pile of hot garbage running the ball. They are 0-2 ATS this year, and a UCONN team (a very, very, very bad one, but a team nonetheless) coming off two low scoring wins seems like the perfect ingredients to a 20-3 football game turned war of attrition. If you watch this game from 11-2 on Saturday morning prior with no vested interest in this game please call 775-784-8090. I feel good about this game looking at both teams’ statistical profiles, with mediocre to good defenses playing against two Dave Raderesque offenses, making 21 points seem high. I’m excited about watching all the coaches sons and former walk-ons play for UCONN this Saturday and how apathetic Pinkel looks when he’s only up 13 at the end of the third quarter and ready to hit the bars.
Pick: UCONN in a low scoring affair.
Auburn @ LSU(-7)
Auburn has 12 men on the field at all times (11 + God) which makes them a tough opponent for most teams. Jacksonville State faced the wrath of Aubren’s extra man this past week as they beat the Gamecocks in a game where they were handily outplayed. Well, these weren’t the only felines who beat Gamecocks last week (insert Fishoil doing a Jim Halpert shrug at camera). LSU, with semi-competent quarterback play, looks potentially terrifying with a revamped front 7 and a running game capable of destroying smaller nations. It’s literally ironic they changed their front 7 for the better, since most times we hear about the front 7 in Louisiana, someone got a new pair of teeth. No offense to Louisiana, but you’re pretty used to no offense after a couple years of Cam Cameron. I’m not sold on one game sample sizes of Auburn and LSU, and think gambler’s’ get some value with the perceptions and valuations after one good week for LSU and one bad one for Aubren. Let’s see if Jeremy Johnson and the War Eagles’ defensive line can hold up in Death Valley, and how much the Gus Bus’ 12th man contributes to Auburn covering.
Pick: Aubren to cover.
South Carolina @ Georgia(-17)
Miss Georgia won Miss America 2016 this week, with her take on Tom Brady being a cheater putting her over the edge. What a fine representative of the South, and if you didn’t watch the pageant I would highly recommend watching the early rounds and interview and pretty much any round besides the swimsuit one - it’s literally porn on tv. South Carolina, as discussed on teh RebelGrove podcast (since win did they talk about football? Lulz). I’m sure the Old Ball Coach will head out to midfield sure of his team being able to win, and very aware this could be the inexcusable game Georgia drops this season. Georgia looked pedestrian against Vandy, and while they can’t be that much worse than South Carolina, you have to think this isn’t encouraging for them covering. USC has won 4 of the last 5 against Georgia (stats imo), and I think they’ll keep it close despite playing three different quarterbacks and Richt having twice as much talent.
Pick: South Carolina. Spurrier making a postgame comment about Miss America.
Texas Tech @ Arkansas(-11.5)
Bert
Kliff
It’s pretty clear one coach is watching film while teh other watches his figure. Razorbacks to bounce back after winning a game “Houston Nutt wouldn’t have lost.” A Arkansas fan posted this on a message board, and they should be punished for 100 years for forgetting the devastation Houston left behind.
Pick: Arkansas bounces back with a multiple touchdown wins.
Florida @ Kentucky(+3)
Florida has 28 consecutive wins over Kentucky (Kentucky fans looks up from watching an 8th graders basketball mixtape and yells, "NOT IN RUPP- just during basketball practice months - August - November. Cats got 'em come February"). Let’s power rank people who will enjoy watching this game the most.
1. Steve Spurrier - Old Ball Coach gets to watch a streak he started, a half empty Kentucky team, a Florida team he’ll beat again this year all before he falls asleep on the couch in the middle of the third quarter, ‘cause all that punting will knock ya right out.
2-infinity. Doesn’t matter, nobody will actually enjoy watching the game, including coaches and players’ families.
It also appears Florida has dusted off some of the Muschamp disease/toxins related to their offense, but even though they can hang more points, the Will Grier/Treon Harris duo isn’t going to be mistaken for the Jones/Barrett pairing in Columbus, OH. Even though I can no longer pick against Jeff Driskel in SEC play (watch out until he starts playing conference foes La. Tech fans), you have to bet against a team formed by Muschamp when they are giving points on the road. Shoutout to Patty Ice, Kentucky’s QB. Never change.
Pick: Cats with their best ECU impression and cover.
Ole Miss @ Alabama(-7)
Like most Ole Miss games, I can’t tell you anything someone else has already said, any new stat surrounding Saban on “revenge games”, or any new angles to the narrative on each team’s season. I can’t wait to wake up to Facebook.com tellign me who won since I’ll get super drunk during the game using my ex-girlfriend (as in we used to be friends, she never wanted to date me) Summer Sangria Splash recipe and the forecast is cloudy with a chance of tears, lets just hope they’re tears of happiness. An important question the liberal media (RebelGrove and Yancy) have ignored is Kenyon Drake and the rapper Drake having some sort of connection. My only complaint about teh podcast with David Morris is why he continues to help our program, I understand he’s a homer but maybe he should be a little more sneaky, training Jeremy Johnson and Jake Coker, I know how much you’re helping the Rebels David. Vaya con Dios.
Pick: Tidhe to cover.
Northwestern St. @ Mississippi State
Pick: MSU wins. Other predicition, Dak knows players on the opposing team because he is from Lousiana.
Austin Peay @ Vanderbilt
More like Austin pee if you ask me (joke copyright fishoil 2015)
Pick: Vandy
West Carolina @ Tennessee
Vols be back after beating the Catamounts. I googled cat a mount and got some unpleasant results, so please avoid imo...
Pick: Vols.
Season: 12-9 (57%) condescendingly looks at Jeffrey, Chase, and Neil since I’m over .500
Editers note: Fishoil is a elite SEC and Ole Miss football fan who spends more time watching film than snapchat stories, and makes money for a majority of the board as the resident gambling expert. These are better than Neil’s picks, which makes sense because he watches the Cubs and NBA games and always picks Ole Miss, while I never plan on getting married because a family would interfere with watching football. Laremy Tunsil has seen some things. So have I.
I primarily picked favorites last week and it didn’t go as well. Week 3 will be me taking points when given.
Nevada @ TexasA&M(-33.5)
Texas A&M does not have cute uniforms or a cute defensive coordinator. But, turns out being cute isn’t important if you can turn 10 young men and cyborg Myles Garrett into a coherent defensive unit, and wait for Kyle Allen to throw to his 5* receivers. A&M has looked good this season, and all 350,000 people watching at the new Kyle Field will enjoy a large victory. Nevada shouldn’t give A&M much trouble in the post Chris Ault era.
Since I mentioned John Chavis, doesn’t it look like he’s looking at @jenlauren wearing a swimsuit?
Pick: Texas A&M to cover, like perverts covered teh JenLaura thread.
UCONN @ Missouri(-21.5)
Missouri has looked good on defense and like a flaming pile of hot garbage running the ball. They are 0-2 ATS this year, and a UCONN team (a very, very, very bad one, but a team nonetheless) coming off two low scoring wins seems like the perfect ingredients to a 20-3 football game turned war of attrition. If you watch this game from 11-2 on Saturday morning prior with no vested interest in this game please call 775-784-8090. I feel good about this game looking at both teams’ statistical profiles, with mediocre to good defenses playing against two Dave Raderesque offenses, making 21 points seem high. I’m excited about watching all the coaches sons and former walk-ons play for UCONN this Saturday and how apathetic Pinkel looks when he’s only up 13 at the end of the third quarter and ready to hit the bars.
Pick: UCONN in a low scoring affair.
Auburn @ LSU(-7)
Auburn has 12 men on the field at all times (11 + God) which makes them a tough opponent for most teams. Jacksonville State faced the wrath of Aubren’s extra man this past week as they beat the Gamecocks in a game where they were handily outplayed. Well, these weren’t the only felines who beat Gamecocks last week (insert Fishoil doing a Jim Halpert shrug at camera). LSU, with semi-competent quarterback play, looks potentially terrifying with a revamped front 7 and a running game capable of destroying smaller nations. It’s literally ironic they changed their front 7 for the better, since most times we hear about the front 7 in Louisiana, someone got a new pair of teeth. No offense to Louisiana, but you’re pretty used to no offense after a couple years of Cam Cameron. I’m not sold on one game sample sizes of Auburn and LSU, and think gambler’s’ get some value with the perceptions and valuations after one good week for LSU and one bad one for Aubren. Let’s see if Jeremy Johnson and the War Eagles’ defensive line can hold up in Death Valley, and how much the Gus Bus’ 12th man contributes to Auburn covering.
Pick: Aubren to cover.
South Carolina @ Georgia(-17)
Miss Georgia won Miss America 2016 this week, with her take on Tom Brady being a cheater putting her over the edge. What a fine representative of the South, and if you didn’t watch the pageant I would highly recommend watching the early rounds and interview and pretty much any round besides the swimsuit one - it’s literally porn on tv. South Carolina, as discussed on teh RebelGrove podcast (since win did they talk about football? Lulz). I’m sure the Old Ball Coach will head out to midfield sure of his team being able to win, and very aware this could be the inexcusable game Georgia drops this season. Georgia looked pedestrian against Vandy, and while they can’t be that much worse than South Carolina, you have to think this isn’t encouraging for them covering. USC has won 4 of the last 5 against Georgia (stats imo), and I think they’ll keep it close despite playing three different quarterbacks and Richt having twice as much talent.
Pick: South Carolina. Spurrier making a postgame comment about Miss America.
Texas Tech @ Arkansas(-11.5)
Bert
Kliff
It’s pretty clear one coach is watching film while teh other watches his figure. Razorbacks to bounce back after winning a game “Houston Nutt wouldn’t have lost.” A Arkansas fan posted this on a message board, and they should be punished for 100 years for forgetting the devastation Houston left behind.
Pick: Arkansas bounces back with a multiple touchdown wins.
Florida @ Kentucky(+3)
Florida has 28 consecutive wins over Kentucky (Kentucky fans looks up from watching an 8th graders basketball mixtape and yells, "NOT IN RUPP- just during basketball practice months - August - November. Cats got 'em come February"). Let’s power rank people who will enjoy watching this game the most.
1. Steve Spurrier - Old Ball Coach gets to watch a streak he started, a half empty Kentucky team, a Florida team he’ll beat again this year all before he falls asleep on the couch in the middle of the third quarter, ‘cause all that punting will knock ya right out.
2-infinity. Doesn’t matter, nobody will actually enjoy watching the game, including coaches and players’ families.
It also appears Florida has dusted off some of the Muschamp disease/toxins related to their offense, but even though they can hang more points, the Will Grier/Treon Harris duo isn’t going to be mistaken for the Jones/Barrett pairing in Columbus, OH. Even though I can no longer pick against Jeff Driskel in SEC play (watch out until he starts playing conference foes La. Tech fans), you have to bet against a team formed by Muschamp when they are giving points on the road. Shoutout to Patty Ice, Kentucky’s QB. Never change.
Pick: Cats with their best ECU impression and cover.
Ole Miss @ Alabama(-7)
Like most Ole Miss games, I can’t tell you anything someone else has already said, any new stat surrounding Saban on “revenge games”, or any new angles to the narrative on each team’s season. I can’t wait to wake up to Facebook.com tellign me who won since I’ll get super drunk during the game using my ex-girlfriend (as in we used to be friends, she never wanted to date me) Summer Sangria Splash recipe and the forecast is cloudy with a chance of tears, lets just hope they’re tears of happiness. An important question the liberal media (RebelGrove and Yancy) have ignored is Kenyon Drake and the rapper Drake having some sort of connection. My only complaint about teh podcast with David Morris is why he continues to help our program, I understand he’s a homer but maybe he should be a little more sneaky, training Jeremy Johnson and Jake Coker, I know how much you’re helping the Rebels David. Vaya con Dios.
Pick: Tidhe to cover.
Northwestern St. @ Mississippi State
Pick: MSU wins. Other predicition, Dak knows players on the opposing team because he is from Lousiana.
Austin Peay @ Vanderbilt
More like Austin pee if you ask me (joke copyright fishoil 2015)
Pick: Vandy
West Carolina @ Tennessee
Vols be back after beating the Catamounts. I googled cat a mount and got some unpleasant results, so please avoid imo...
Pick: Vols.
