Please forgive José for providing his thoughts later than he customarily does. Unfortunately, he was detained in the Atlanta airport for an extended period of time. What began on a positive note, being seated in first class for the first time ever, quickly deteriorated into a less than desirable situation. But in José’s defense, what do YOU typically think when someone comes at you with a wet, hot towel? Sponge bath right? Well, let José forewarn you should you ever find yourself in first class on Delta Airlines, that is not what they are intended for. Fortunately for José, after three days of being questioned it was eventually determined that his actions were not malicious and should be attributed to mere stupidity. That conclusion likely could have been reached much earlier by a simple evaluation of José’s illustrious criminal history and all of the existing empirical data. So this entire ordeal was drawn out much longer than necessary. Perhaps they just chose to make an example of him. So in a sense José could be considered the Laramy Tunsil of airplane nudity.
Speaking of Laramy Tunsil, it was finally announced this week that his suspension would be for a total of seven games and he would be eligible to suit up and take the field next week against Texas A&M. Of course “improper benefits” was given as the reason for his suspension but you and I both know there is much more to the story. In all probability the NCAA is upset about the fact that Ole Miss men’s sports can boast of three straight bowl appearances, two NCAA basketball tournaments and a College World Series all since José V enrolled as a freshman and Tunsil was designated as a scapegoat for the audacity the University of Mississippi had to become one of the premier all-around athletic programs in the country. They stretched the penalty out as long as they possibly could before Rebel fans with flaming pitchforks, singing “Let My Left Tackle Go” marched on their headquarters demanding an explanation. Fortunately the team has managed to survive half the season without Tunsil thus far and should they win this Saturday they will likely once again be a top ten team and still be in a position to accomplish all of their preseason goals.
As for the game last Saturday, Ole Miss rebounded from their performance the prior week by defeating New Mexico State 52-3, which is about what everyone expected. As was the case in the Battle of Resaca de la Palma, the Mexicans were just overmatched. Despite his conflicting emotions regarding the game, it was a fantastic day all around as José celebrated his birthday in the Grove with a surprise party that included a taco bar, tequila and live music. It was truly a day he will never forget. Which is pretty good considering there are more than a few days he has no recollection of whatsoever. And José would be remiss if he did not say thank you for all of the birthday wishes he received over the weekend, both in person and through Facebook. He can assure you that he will send a personal note of thanks to every single woman (and a few of the married ones just in case) by the end of the week.
But José digresses. On to Memphis.
Memphis, Tennessee is primarily known for music and barbeque. In José’s case it is better known for a Kappa Delta formal which involved him missing the bus back to Oxford for reasons which are neither here nor there, but involved him taking a route back that somehow took eleven days and included stops in St. Louis, Chicago, Green Bay, Carson City and New Orleans. Interestingly enough he never had another date with either the young lady who invited to him to formal or any Kappa Delta ever again.
The University of Memphis football team is 6-0 in 2015. In fact they have won 12 straight games with their last loss coming to, you guessed it, the Ole Miss Rebels. They are also ranked in the top 25, so for the first time in history the two teams play each other while both of them are ranked. They feature a potent offense, but a defense that has proven to be about as effective as the two-drink limit at 1st Pres during all Valdez family infant baptisms. Make no mistake, the Tigers will come into this game as amped up and ready to play as they have ever been. It is their opportunity to announce that they have truly arrived on the college football scene and that they are much more than just the school that gave the world Keith Lee’ jheri curl (as impressive as that is in itself.)
Unfortunately José will not be in attendance this weekend which is probably a good thing considering the last away game he attended was in Gainesville. Plus there’s always a chance a few Kappa Delta’s could show.
My name is José Valdez IV and these are my thoughts.
https://www.facebook.com/josevaldeziv
Speaking of Laramy Tunsil, it was finally announced this week that his suspension would be for a total of seven games and he would be eligible to suit up and take the field next week against Texas A&M. Of course “improper benefits” was given as the reason for his suspension but you and I both know there is much more to the story. In all probability the NCAA is upset about the fact that Ole Miss men’s sports can boast of three straight bowl appearances, two NCAA basketball tournaments and a College World Series all since José V enrolled as a freshman and Tunsil was designated as a scapegoat for the audacity the University of Mississippi had to become one of the premier all-around athletic programs in the country. They stretched the penalty out as long as they possibly could before Rebel fans with flaming pitchforks, singing “Let My Left Tackle Go” marched on their headquarters demanding an explanation. Fortunately the team has managed to survive half the season without Tunsil thus far and should they win this Saturday they will likely once again be a top ten team and still be in a position to accomplish all of their preseason goals.
As for the game last Saturday, Ole Miss rebounded from their performance the prior week by defeating New Mexico State 52-3, which is about what everyone expected. As was the case in the Battle of Resaca de la Palma, the Mexicans were just overmatched. Despite his conflicting emotions regarding the game, it was a fantastic day all around as José celebrated his birthday in the Grove with a surprise party that included a taco bar, tequila and live music. It was truly a day he will never forget. Which is pretty good considering there are more than a few days he has no recollection of whatsoever. And José would be remiss if he did not say thank you for all of the birthday wishes he received over the weekend, both in person and through Facebook. He can assure you that he will send a personal note of thanks to every single woman (and a few of the married ones just in case) by the end of the week.
But José digresses. On to Memphis.
Memphis, Tennessee is primarily known for music and barbeque. In José’s case it is better known for a Kappa Delta formal which involved him missing the bus back to Oxford for reasons which are neither here nor there, but involved him taking a route back that somehow took eleven days and included stops in St. Louis, Chicago, Green Bay, Carson City and New Orleans. Interestingly enough he never had another date with either the young lady who invited to him to formal or any Kappa Delta ever again.
The University of Memphis football team is 6-0 in 2015. In fact they have won 12 straight games with their last loss coming to, you guessed it, the Ole Miss Rebels. They are also ranked in the top 25, so for the first time in history the two teams play each other while both of them are ranked. They feature a potent offense, but a defense that has proven to be about as effective as the two-drink limit at 1st Pres during all Valdez family infant baptisms. Make no mistake, the Tigers will come into this game as amped up and ready to play as they have ever been. It is their opportunity to announce that they have truly arrived on the college football scene and that they are much more than just the school that gave the world Keith Lee’ jheri curl (as impressive as that is in itself.)
Unfortunately José will not be in attendance this weekend which is probably a good thing considering the last away game he attended was in Gainesville. Plus there’s always a chance a few Kappa Delta’s could show.
My name is José Valdez IV and these are my thoughts.
https://www.facebook.com/josevaldeziv
