You want to know what makes José happier than just about anything else in the world? No? You have no interest whatsoever in what makes José happy? Well he is going to tell you anyway. He loves it when fans of another school flood Oxford, walking around the Grove in their school colors (as abysmal as some of them are), enjoying the tailgating and scenery while expecting a victory, only to file out of Vaught-Hemingway early because they are getting their butts kicked. That makes José pretty damn happy and is exactly what went down last Saturday for Texas A&M fans. It was a glorious sight to behold. Not as glorious as Salma Hayek’s frolicking in the water scene in “Ask the Dust”, but glorious nonetheless.
What a difference a week makes. Just one week ago José wasn’t sure he had the intestinal fortitude to survive the Ole Miss football season but now he has a renewed optimism. You could almost say that he has regained his swag. Well you could say that if you are between the ages of 18 and 24, have a closet full of skinny jeans and an Arcade Fire ringtone. Otherwise just stick with “renewed optimism”.
The Texas A&M game, while not a perfect performance, was certainly a dominating one and just what the doctor ordered. It wasn’t as close as the final score indicated and but for a phantom chop-block penalty, a horrible spot on a Jaylen Walton run inside the 5 yard-line and the Rebels extreme conservatism in the final minute, it could have easily been a 41-3 shellacking. But honestly it is hard to complain about much. Ole Miss won one of the most important games in recent memory in a convincing fashion and didn’t have to play particularly well to do so.
On to Auburn.
Can everyone agree at this point that they really don’t like Auburn and would love nothing more than to go there and beat the ever-loving crap out of them? From Tommy Tuberville to what happened to LaQuon Treadwell last year and the Auburn paper featuring it on their front page, there is plenty of reason to approach this game with thoughts you will likely need to be prepared to explain on judgment day. Of course in José’s case those thoughts will probably be about #1,054,347 on the list of things he needs to be prepared to explain. So in other words, should you pass immediately after José does, you may expect to wait in line a while.
But José digresses.
Ole Miss has not won at Auburn since Eli Manning was the quarterback. And Eli is like 47 years old now. At least it seems like it since there have been so many disappointing losses on the plains since he left. But that does not have to be the case this Saturday. Despite all the ridiculous preseason projections regarding this Auburn squad and their “Heisman candidate” quarterback (who couldn’t even keep the starting job to the halfway point of the season) there is no question Ole Miss has the better team. But this contest is on the road and the Rebels have not fared particularly well in road games since they left Tuscaloosa. They don’t have to be perfect to win, but they do need to play well.
We are now eight games into the season and the Rebels still control their own destiny in the quest for the SEC West championship. There have already been comments by radio and television personalities that it’s a nightmare scenario for the SEC, possibly having a 2-loss Ole Miss squad winning the conference. Well José has nightmares too but they typically involve being chased by the gorillas from “Planet of the Apes” or forgetting to wear clothes to Mistletoe Marketplace (Full disclosure. That one doesn’t always end up being a nightmare and this is where José would insert a winking smiley face emoticon were he not a grown man and adamantly opposed to emoticons.) Here’s to hoping for many sleepless nights all the way through the championship game for any SEC official who feels that way. The march to Atlanta got serious last weekend in Oxford and continues at Auburn this week.
Hotty Toddy and Fins Up.
My name is José Valdez IV and these are my thoughts.
https://www.facebook.com/josevaldeziv
What a difference a week makes. Just one week ago José wasn’t sure he had the intestinal fortitude to survive the Ole Miss football season but now he has a renewed optimism. You could almost say that he has regained his swag. Well you could say that if you are between the ages of 18 and 24, have a closet full of skinny jeans and an Arcade Fire ringtone. Otherwise just stick with “renewed optimism”.
The Texas A&M game, while not a perfect performance, was certainly a dominating one and just what the doctor ordered. It wasn’t as close as the final score indicated and but for a phantom chop-block penalty, a horrible spot on a Jaylen Walton run inside the 5 yard-line and the Rebels extreme conservatism in the final minute, it could have easily been a 41-3 shellacking. But honestly it is hard to complain about much. Ole Miss won one of the most important games in recent memory in a convincing fashion and didn’t have to play particularly well to do so.
On to Auburn.
Can everyone agree at this point that they really don’t like Auburn and would love nothing more than to go there and beat the ever-loving crap out of them? From Tommy Tuberville to what happened to LaQuon Treadwell last year and the Auburn paper featuring it on their front page, there is plenty of reason to approach this game with thoughts you will likely need to be prepared to explain on judgment day. Of course in José’s case those thoughts will probably be about #1,054,347 on the list of things he needs to be prepared to explain. So in other words, should you pass immediately after José does, you may expect to wait in line a while.
But José digresses.
Ole Miss has not won at Auburn since Eli Manning was the quarterback. And Eli is like 47 years old now. At least it seems like it since there have been so many disappointing losses on the plains since he left. But that does not have to be the case this Saturday. Despite all the ridiculous preseason projections regarding this Auburn squad and their “Heisman candidate” quarterback (who couldn’t even keep the starting job to the halfway point of the season) there is no question Ole Miss has the better team. But this contest is on the road and the Rebels have not fared particularly well in road games since they left Tuscaloosa. They don’t have to be perfect to win, but they do need to play well.
We are now eight games into the season and the Rebels still control their own destiny in the quest for the SEC West championship. There have already been comments by radio and television personalities that it’s a nightmare scenario for the SEC, possibly having a 2-loss Ole Miss squad winning the conference. Well José has nightmares too but they typically involve being chased by the gorillas from “Planet of the Apes” or forgetting to wear clothes to Mistletoe Marketplace (Full disclosure. That one doesn’t always end up being a nightmare and this is where José would insert a winking smiley face emoticon were he not a grown man and adamantly opposed to emoticons.) Here’s to hoping for many sleepless nights all the way through the championship game for any SEC official who feels that way. The march to Atlanta got serious last weekend in Oxford and continues at Auburn this week.
Hotty Toddy and Fins Up.
My name is José Valdez IV and these are my thoughts.
https://www.facebook.com/josevaldeziv
