Remember that time when José said that Vanderbilt’s football team sucked and the Rebels should win handily? Well he proved to be about as accurate in that assessment as he was when he stated that Nicholas Cage was an Oscar lock for his performance in Face/Off. No Ole Miss did not play its best game. In fact they didn’t play very well at all. But some of that had to do with Vanderbilt. They are vastly improved from last season (at least José hopes that is the case) and will upset someone this year. The truth is that José was as guilty as anyone in taking this one for granted. In fact he made the comment that he had never been more confident of an SEC victory in his life than he was of this one. Don’t think that wasn’t running through his head when the Commodores tied the score at 13-13 and for the next few ensuing possessions. But he has learned his lesson and will approach each game with cautious optimism henceforth just as he used to approach his chances for success every ladies night at Bennigan’s.
Perhaps Rebel fans are being too hard on the team. When the Associated Press poll came out on Sunday Ole Miss had actually moved out of a tie with TCU for #3 into sole possession of that spot while picking up almost 100 points on the Horny Toads. The top-ranked Ohio State Buckeyes only defeated Northern Illinois by a touchdown the prior week. Second ranked Michigan State has a 37-24 win over Western Michigan and only defeated Oregon at home 31-28. These are the same Ducks that just lost 62-20 to Utah in Eugene. So the message is that even the best teams are going to have games where they don’t play their best and just need to find a way to win. The Rebels did that.
Now that the game is behind us all that matters is Ole Miss is 4-0 for only the second time since the debut of Earth Day (That would be 1970 for those of you who do not recycle and drink your coffee from Styrofoam cups). What needs to change in 2015 is that both in 1970 and 2014 when the Rebels began the season with four wins is that they finished the year with a total of four losses. José is cautiously optimistic (See. He’s learning.) that is not going to be the case in 2015. If it does he will likely wander into the wilderness to live his remaining days with the coyotes, Andy Kaufman and Tupac.
On to Florida. The Swamp. Jortsville.
The Gators are 4-0 after an improbable win against Tennessee last weekend thanks to Volunteer head coach Butch Jones, whose game management skills rival those of José’s lion taming ones. But you have to give Florida credit. They converted a number of fourth downs and demonstrated that they have some mental toughness. Though the Rebels are favored it very well could be another difficult contest. It would certainly be good for José’s heart and general well-being if it were not.
In what surely seems like the world may be coming to an end, new Florida head coach Jim McElwain said in his Monday morning press conference that the Rebels might not “have much regard” for his Gators. It was an amazing comment given the differences between the two programs over the past 20 years or so but the reality is that there probably is some truth to that. But it mostly has to do with the jorts.
José is making the trip to Gainesville to meet a few of his amigos for the game but also to visit the Tim Tebow shrine. Apparently they posted his famous speech that came after the last time we whipped them there on some type of plaque that hovers over the campus like the Washington Monument. And José has it from an unreliable source that all Gator fans are now required to make a pilgrimage to visit the shrine before they die or they face an eternity spent with Tennessee supporters. If Ole Miss comes out victorious this weekend perhaps Vernon Hargreaves III will wax poetic as well.
So it is yet another big game in a season bound to be full of them. The Rebels cannot afford to take the attitude that they have some wiggle room in the SEC race. They also cannot afford to have a game like they had at LSU last year, play conservative and lose to an inferior squad. They need to throw haymakers all night. Get the Gators on the ropes early and put them away. Make them resign themselves to their fate and focus on the Eastern division. José intends to do his part in the stands. They serve tequila there right? If not then perhaps he should pack accordingly. Maybe some cargo jorts so he can both carry a flask and appear inconspicuous at the same time.
So wish José the best and safe returns. He is headed into enemy territory. And he’s not going there to lose.
Hotty Toddy and Fins Up.
My name is José Valdez IV and these are my thoughts.
https://www.facebook.com/josevaldeziv
Perhaps Rebel fans are being too hard on the team. When the Associated Press poll came out on Sunday Ole Miss had actually moved out of a tie with TCU for #3 into sole possession of that spot while picking up almost 100 points on the Horny Toads. The top-ranked Ohio State Buckeyes only defeated Northern Illinois by a touchdown the prior week. Second ranked Michigan State has a 37-24 win over Western Michigan and only defeated Oregon at home 31-28. These are the same Ducks that just lost 62-20 to Utah in Eugene. So the message is that even the best teams are going to have games where they don’t play their best and just need to find a way to win. The Rebels did that.
Now that the game is behind us all that matters is Ole Miss is 4-0 for only the second time since the debut of Earth Day (That would be 1970 for those of you who do not recycle and drink your coffee from Styrofoam cups). What needs to change in 2015 is that both in 1970 and 2014 when the Rebels began the season with four wins is that they finished the year with a total of four losses. José is cautiously optimistic (See. He’s learning.) that is not going to be the case in 2015. If it does he will likely wander into the wilderness to live his remaining days with the coyotes, Andy Kaufman and Tupac.
On to Florida. The Swamp. Jortsville.
The Gators are 4-0 after an improbable win against Tennessee last weekend thanks to Volunteer head coach Butch Jones, whose game management skills rival those of José’s lion taming ones. But you have to give Florida credit. They converted a number of fourth downs and demonstrated that they have some mental toughness. Though the Rebels are favored it very well could be another difficult contest. It would certainly be good for José’s heart and general well-being if it were not.
In what surely seems like the world may be coming to an end, new Florida head coach Jim McElwain said in his Monday morning press conference that the Rebels might not “have much regard” for his Gators. It was an amazing comment given the differences between the two programs over the past 20 years or so but the reality is that there probably is some truth to that. But it mostly has to do with the jorts.
José is making the trip to Gainesville to meet a few of his amigos for the game but also to visit the Tim Tebow shrine. Apparently they posted his famous speech that came after the last time we whipped them there on some type of plaque that hovers over the campus like the Washington Monument. And José has it from an unreliable source that all Gator fans are now required to make a pilgrimage to visit the shrine before they die or they face an eternity spent with Tennessee supporters. If Ole Miss comes out victorious this weekend perhaps Vernon Hargreaves III will wax poetic as well.
So it is yet another big game in a season bound to be full of them. The Rebels cannot afford to take the attitude that they have some wiggle room in the SEC race. They also cannot afford to have a game like they had at LSU last year, play conservative and lose to an inferior squad. They need to throw haymakers all night. Get the Gators on the ropes early and put them away. Make them resign themselves to their fate and focus on the Eastern division. José intends to do his part in the stands. They serve tequila there right? If not then perhaps he should pack accordingly. Maybe some cargo jorts so he can both carry a flask and appear inconspicuous at the same time.
So wish José the best and safe returns. He is headed into enemy territory. And he’s not going there to lose.
Hotty Toddy and Fins Up.
My name is José Valdez IV and these are my thoughts.
https://www.facebook.com/josevaldeziv
