Today for the first time in 13.5 years, I woke up to an empty tiny bed that lays right next to my feet. I didn't hear the sounds of snoring last night, which I now realize how much I miss. I didn't have my morning routine of letting her outside and her pushing the door back open when she was ready to come in. I didn't hear the sound of toe nails hitting the hard wood floors as they came into the kitchen to help me fix the kids breakfast. When it was time to take our kids to school, I looked to an empty spot where I would always tell her "let's go take the kids to school in the car". I opened just my truck door this morning, I didn't have someone to help into the passenger side. When we reached the school, I didn't have her window down so all the teachers and kids could see her and tell her how pretty she was. When my kids got out of the car, the sound of silence was deafening, because she wasn't there to have our morning chats with as we drove home. When I got home, I didn't have anyone to help out and walk down the driveway with to go inspect the yard with. When I walked in the house, there was no one to give her morning medicine and breakfast to, and the sound of not hearing the jingle of a collar following close behind. As I got ready at my sink, behind all the tears, her spot that she would watch me was empty. When my wife and I were walking into the living room, there was no one there to say "Be a good girl, Be good girl". And as I closed the door, I looked back one more time to hope to see a head poking around the corner, one more time to tell her "Be good girl", but just saw emptiness...
Yesterday, after waking up we did our normal routine of taking the kids to school. I stopped by the vet to get her a special can of food for breakfast with tears in my eyes. Then we made it all about her. We went to the pet store to look at animals, went to the parks, went and got pup cups, and went and got a honey baked ham for supper. Laying on her blanket at sunset, she got to eat her honey baked ham and fall asleep. No more hurting for her, no more pain, no more struggling, she was finally at peace.
But I am beyond broken right now. The last 2 months of my and my family's lives have been something I would not wish on anyone...but yesterday, while beautiful in everyway, is killing me today....
Yesterday, after waking up we did our normal routine of taking the kids to school. I stopped by the vet to get her a special can of food for breakfast with tears in my eyes. Then we made it all about her. We went to the pet store to look at animals, went to the parks, went and got pup cups, and went and got a honey baked ham for supper. Laying on her blanket at sunset, she got to eat her honey baked ham and fall asleep. No more hurting for her, no more pain, no more struggling, she was finally at peace.
But I am beyond broken right now. The last 2 months of my and my family's lives have been something I would not wish on anyone...but yesterday, while beautiful in everyway, is killing me today....
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