Originally posted by GeorgiaRebz:
Look, if you're wanting a monogamous relationship & marriage, it will NEVER be successful with this girl.
We all make mistakes, but rarely do we accept them & move forward with our lives with what we've changed.
Has this society come to this point where we are so afraid to be on our own that we have no sense of independence to find what it is we're wanting to share with someone? Seriously...you're not even married yet, and she's screwing a "friend"(that you introduced her to probably)? It's NOT GOING TO WORK! She is not in the place you want her to be in relationship wise. Like someone posted below, she's only being honest because she knows it will be impossible to keep a secret.
There is no level of emotional convincing that can be done to gain trust. There's only what you do within a shared commitment that can be trusted from day to day. That's it. This isn't about forgiving her. This is about YOU.
Are you so co-dependent on this cheating whore that committed to you, and screwed your friend that you won't accept her actions at their value, and move on? Have VALUE IN YOURSELF to find the one your heart is truly looking for, and not forcing it on someone that has fallen short, and cheated with a friend.
If you guys were married, had children, and committed more life & family, this is another situation. You're not there yet no matter what you tell yourself. You're Lucky! You can keep yourself from going through that hell, and having to figure out that scenario.
If you two live together, so what. Find another place. If you share a dog, so what. Get another dog, or take that one with you. Speaking from experience, KNOW when it's time to move on. As painful as this may seem right now, you're only setting yourself up for more & worse pain. From you not trusting, to not trusting her around your friends, to always questioning....the emotional baggage that goes along with this may seem forgivable, but it's just not worth the fight if you haven't committed in marriage.
Make a decision, accept her for what she truly is defined by what she has done, and not how she pleads, cries, and begs. Statistically speaking, she has already done this to you before. This is just a situation she can no longer keep secret. There's no way to trust any absolute truths that she's swearing to you anyway. It's all an emotional plea, and has no honest merit to it.
I fully advise you to drop the slut, make an appointment for your doctor to be tested for STDs/HIV, and re-center your life around yourself. Find your strength through this, and be willing to find someone that you can share a commitment with.
Again, you are lucky. This could be a 100 times worse. If you're looking for spiritual guidance, recognize that God has blessed you with the gift of knowing/showing you what NOT to commit to in His name. Move on. Let her find her own way with herself, and her choices. She'll be back on all fours in no time. Either way, it doesn't concern you anymore. She made that choice. You have to accept it, and now start deciding for YOU. What your heart yearns for in a commitment, you CAN find in the world IF you let her go. If you let it linger, it will effect your choices, confidence, and strain this transition even more.
There is no amount of prayer that will change what has been done. There is no amount of advice that can rule over common sense. There is no amount of emotional desire that can overrule objectivity. Yes, you can forgive her one day. Just do it as a coexisting human being while finding the Right mate you've been searching for.
